Yes, I'm 31

Watching famous SITCOMS online has always been a method of putting my mind to rest when I get all worked up. It was going fine, laughing at the jokes each of those characters cracked or the way they spoke about topics we consider taboo in our society, until every character in the show turned 30. Yes, that magical number 30. One more than 29 and one less than 31. I was born in the year 1989 and I trust you would be able to count out how many years I’ve lived on this planet but hey, the best part of turning 30 is rather its worst. 

I refer to Theodore Evelyn Mosby a.k.a Ted Mosby, the lonely young man who sits and rambles stories to his children about HOW HE MET THEIR MOTHER (When I have kids, I’m definitely doing that). The show started with Ted living in New York during his late 20’s and searching for the ONE. It wasn’t until much later in the show that he was finally able to meet the woman, get married and have children with her. There, I built an association with that character which was so eloquently created by the screen writers. I am not going to spoil the series for those of you who have not seen the show till date, but I believe its worthy of one whole binge. I was able to put myself in his shoes and think how it felt to be younger than 30 and see how life turned out to be. 

Life here isn’t like Barney’s, where you get to hit on a girl and get to spend the next several hours with her and then leave. Life here is all about commitment and it seems to have been embedded in our genetics. When a guy looks at a girl he seems interested in, we recede into our minds and have pretentious imaginations or storylines built up inside. We don’t perceive what we see and we tend to believe the hallucinations that seem to experience. Well, that was Ted. I look into a mirror everyday but this was different. Sure, our lives are not like the promiscuous lives that are portrayed by the shows of the west but the lives are by and large quite similar. Just as his ideas and thoughts changed when he turned 30, so did I. 

Ever since our school days we think about becoming older and getting to do things independently in our lives all by ourselves. You’ve been at that point in time when you know you were not 18 years or older to click that button but hell, you did. You could walk up to your parents in disagreement (I’ve never done that – I was scared of my parents) and tell them that you are old enough to handle life by yourself and storm out the living room into your own room, if you have one of course. I didn’t. Filled with energy and spirit you could go out into the world and party hard. One would wake up the next day and have all the vigour to fight the next day. You will never understand what I am trying to tell you at this fine moment, but when you hit that magic number, you will come to a consensus with what I have been ranting about. Party hard on your 29th birthday because the next one is going to be rough. 

You need to head to work when you wake up in the morning. You would have to shower before heading out of the house because a face wash wouldn’t work like it did back in the day. You would have lived off your parents all this while and might not have known what it would be to spend your money. When paying for that wrapped, self-gifting option on amazon from your pocket, you would count every single penny that leaves you. Your game with the world would have changed. Kids wont call you anna or akka anymore, they would rather use Uncle (I’ve been there) and Aunty. You could deny that to them, but who are you kidding. You wish you had a nice job and work hard to get better at it. We are medicos, we don’t get better at our jobs until we are 50. Partying becomes a more common part of life but who are we kidding, it becomes harder and harder waking up every other year. When you are 28 you could drive all night long to a friend’s wedding in a town 500 kms away. When you become 30, trying to stay awake at late night shows at movies becomes a hassle. You would then sit and try to write about love and life and the world that you see around you. When you turn 30, you would probably be married or waiting to be married, there is no single life at that age. Indian parents, they are who they are. 

Life has not been a breeze nor has it been a smooth ride. It has been a rollercoaster ride from the time I joined medical college. What I have been trying to put forth to you in a completely elemental manner is to take heed of these words and put some thought into them. I found out that I suffer from an autoimmune disorder just as I was turning 28. The books made me comprehend that these autoimmune disorders are more prevalent in the west. Huh! India is the new west I believe. At 28 I went on with it and I knew no pain. When I turned 30, I had to go to the hospital to get myself treated. Lately I found out that I became hypertensive. I am not the one to lose my temper very easily (so I recon) neither do I tend to lash out on anyone. The apparatus measured whopping numbers when I recorded my blood pressure. I could eat so much and still not gain too much weight. At least that’s what I kept telling myself all these years. It wasn’t a hassle to lose weight. I would go out for long runs and I would lose those pounds very easily. Here, in this place in time, I can barely go out for a run. Shhhh!! I’m too busy playing DOTA.  

I turned 30 thinking I would be a stronger man, a great husband, an amazing father, a good doctor (though I love that show. Naaah) and a stable person. I am now 31 and find it difficult to get myself out of bed, I am popping pills, going out for evening shows at the theatres, returning back home by 9:30 pm and falling asleep by 10, all alone. I wish, just like a lot of people out there, I could call this a day and form a routine. My life and profession have only led me to keep studying even at 31 years of age (I am still preparing for exams – I hate them). I only wish, the world would choose to be just a tad kinder and let us get rid of these societal statures that are to be maintained by each one of us. I am not trying to strike fear into the hearts of the ones who have come all the way to the end of this article. I am just giving you a heads-up. Like a turn sign at the side of the road, like the torch that shines a path on you, like the troubleshooting manual for your NEET website. Live for yourself and love living. Don’t survive, Live

I have found at this age, Love and Happiness. They define who I am. I am not old, definitely not in my mind. I am just WISE. 

Dr. Izhar Vinson Iyapillai